Starting overs, always the same, always different

La traducción aquí.
It is not been a long time since that, almost last, starting over yet it is here again.

One day, you fill out a paper and make a couple of clicks. One does not completely know the changes that those little things can make into somebody’s life, as well as those you love. It is the same way that you cannot look to the sky and be 100% sure that these little clouds will not bring showers thereafter.

Here I am now, again at the verge of the change, at the ending of an old chapter, at the doormat of a new adventure. In only three days all will be as usual, that is, new, different and challenging. The food, the slums, the skin of my fellows, the sunshine, all will be renewed yet another time, only this time I will be also changed. I just will not be going anywhere else, as I am already arrived to where I wanted to be years ago, when I left those rainy patches of lands, north of Bilbao. I have finally arrived to my final, yet, always changing destination. I am out of the slow train of tidal driven destiny. Now I just have to walk into the unknown of my certain future.

This week I signed my first contract as Humanitarian Worker, the career that I, endlessly, have pursued over the last three years. A moment was for me one of, both, joy and fear.

In one hand joy for I am now part of a movement that aims, within known limits and constrains, for a better place for us all, or at least a not worst one. A career that would place my little sand crumb in the desert balance towards the part I think would be correct.

In the other hand comes the big fear that I feel now, the one of not been good enough, the fright of no coping with the big responsibility upon my shoulders since that sign was embossed in papers. The responsibility, for me is that of knowing that a job not done well could make a difference between somebody fighting for a dinner tomorrow, or been in a box at his/her own funeral instead.

So all is the same, all is different, all is challenging and overall, I am sure that within the next weeks the positive will prevail.

The lines of the kite start unwinding towards Haïti soon. She knows that wind will always be wind, no matter how hard it blows, she will withstand.